Back to Normality...

So, I lie here in my bed, the same bed I have laid in most nights for 19 years, and I realize, I have gone back to normality, this is a very rare occasion for any individual, I'm sure you've at least once looked upon a point in your life and thought, "yeah I'd like to go back there, at least for a while" I often do this with the memories of my time in 6th form, where all my friends were in the quiet room every dinner hanging out, all of my friends in the world, in one room, every day. Now if I want to see any of my friends from my hometown I have to arrange a time and place to meet or see them, and no-one can ever all make it on the same day, it's pretty upsetting... I digress.

So yeah, I moved to America, I studied abroad for 5 months at Pacific University Oregon, moving there was... bewildering, it was kinda like packing up and just going to University for the first time, had the same feeling of excitement, the feeling of loneliness as you think you're not going to see your family for a while, just these feelings were multiplied by about 5 times. I had some truly great times over there, some of the greatest moments of my life, I saw Hollywood, I have dreamed about seeing that place for a long time, I met two of my idols, I met some great people over there, and mainly, I saw a little piece of the world that I hadn't before, I was on an adventure which was pretty exhilarating. Now on the other hand, those feelings of loneliness were also multiplied, I had never been away from my family for so long in my life, whenever things got too crazy at York St John (the university I go to that offered the placement) I could always go home, eat some free food, tell my mum about my problems and have her tell me everything would be alright, I couldn't do that in this case, I couldn't call because my phone didn't work in America, and I couldn't even skype home because the internet was so shite, so my only communication to anyone from England was via E-mail or facebook, so when I had a problem, I didn't have anyone to tell me it was gonna be alright, and I definitely had some problems whilst over there. At one point I just wanted to go home, I was fired from the school play, which I had devoted hours of rehearsal time to, I had no money, and my visa didn't permit me to work in the country. I was pretty miserable, I just wanted to call my mum and have her tell me it would be okay but I couldn't even to that. At that point, as I was poor and miserable in a country smack on the other side of the world from England, something happened, I decided that, I'm just gonna have to deal with it on my own, I'm gonna have to sort everything out myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I was helped by my mother who sent money whenever she could, as did my auntie and grandma and I love them all for it, but these were not solutions to the problems, I had to sort myself, and everything around out, and I did. I told the play to fuck off, I decided that I didn't need the play to be happy, that I had benefitted from it, as from the rehearsals I had learned that I actually have a really great singing voice, this built my confidence and I took that as a plus, and used the time that I would have spent on rehearsing to focus on the Film I was currently directing, I managed to eventually call England and sort out the money that the government should have given me months before, and mainly, I realized that none of these things really mattered, they only mattered if I made them important, I decided to just let all my worries go, and they did, they went, and never came back, that was a real turning point in my life, whether you agree or not, it was in intense situation to be in, and I pushed through it, by letting go of all that was bothering me, and just relaxing.
Try it next time everything gets too much, just think, is this so important that its worth being upset over? Does being upset over something ever make it better? Just be strong and let it all go, and just be happy with the moment and enjoy yourself.

"Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name" - Mars

Shit, I really did digress there.

So as I was saying, I have now returned to the norm, I was on an adventure, many times remembering the good times at York my friends there, the pubs and clubs etc, and now I'm back, I can return to that life, just the way it was, I came back from America thinking everything would have changed as much as I did, but everything was exactly the same, the question is, do I want it all to be the same? Will I be happy returning to the norm? God knows I love my friends and I can't wait to go back to York and see them, but going to the same pubs and clubs and having the same life I left 6 months ago, won't it grow tiresome?

Maybe I need another adventure...

-J

Provehito In Altum

Meeting Jared

Originally written on, Friday 18th December 2009

So, as I wait for my plane back to England, I'm listening to what I class as the greatest musical breakthrough in existence, and I can think of nothing but the incredible moment I had on Tuesday December 15th of 2009, so...

Here it goes,

The date was two days before I finished my semester of study abroad in Oregon, America, I wanted to end my time there with a bang, so me and Travis found tickets to go see 30 Seconds to Mars and Muse in Seattle

After the 3 and a half hour train journey, we arrived in Seattle Washington, it was a relatively clear night, the city looked beautiful against the sky, and as we stepped out of the train station the WAMU theater was towering over us.

We walked in, straight to the crowd, and waited for MARS.

I lost Travis straight away, it was a very big crowd, I got to the second row back for Mars, which was annoying, but the best I could do as we were late because of the long train ride.

After the set, Jared Leto announced that directly after they finish, they are going to do a signing of every CD that anyone buys.

So I gave up a front row center position for Muse to go and buy a second album and have it signed.

I waited in line, and when I got to the band, I calmly spoke to Shannon Leto, Then Tomo, and Finally my my idol, my messiah, the man who gave me something to believe in, something to hold on to, something to live for, was right in front of me, I'm rather proud of how calm I was, and I immediately told him, "Jared, I am beyond your biggest fan, and Mars' biggest fan." he looked right at me as I said this, generally interested in what I had to say, he then asked where I was from and we spoke about England for a brief moment as I told him I have tickets to see them at Wembley Arena, and as I passed him my album for him to sign, he then noticed the Tattoo on my right wrist. He stopped moving entirely and his eyes widened, "Oh wow.." he grabbed my wrist and looked at the tattoo in depth his mouth as wide as his eyes, "Look at this." He then turned to somebody on his right, "have you seen this? Look at this!" He then looked back at me, stared into my eyes for a brief moment, and thanked me, and excitedly said he’d see me at Wembley, I then left and went to get a drink of water, after A while I realized that I had not gotten a picture of Jared at the Signing booth, so I went back to take a picture and as I looked at my camera to see if the picture had taken I saw this pic,

http://www.facebook.com/al

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It was Jared looking right at me, I lowered my camera and he began walking up to me, when he reached me he said, “come with me” So I did, I walked with him attempting to keep calm about the fact that my idol was walking next to me, “what’s your name?” he said, I answered, “Jareth...” he then said “Oh, like the original way of spelling Jared.” this I had heard before but was never sure, but this is just another divine way that linked me to Mars.

We then spoke casually as we walked, I said how much I enjoyed the set, because he had played Capricorn my favorite song in acoustic, we discussed the set, and what songs were played, I then asked him what his favorite song from the new album was and he said, “you know, It’s impossible to say, I both love and hate them all the same”

We then arrived backstage and Shannon and Tomo were there hanging out, Jared shouted to get Shannon’s attention, “Shannon! Hey Shannon! Come look at this!”

He showed Shannon my Tattoo who also said, “wow”

Jared then said we should get a picture of all of our tattoo’s so we did, Shannon took the picture on my camera and this is the pic,

http://www.facebook.com/al

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Then Jared said, lets get a group photo, (all of this was being filmed by a cameraman) so Shannon gave my camera to some guy who took this picture,

http://www.facebook.com/ph

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Then Me and Jared left Shannon and Tomo and went to the side of the stage, he introduced me to two twins, who were super nice (and hot, but that’s another story!) as he attended to someone who wanted him for a short interview, he did this interview for a couple minutes and then, walked over to me, “wanna come watch Muse?” Obviously I said yes and we went to the front side of the stage in front of the barrier and I then watched Muse.
At the front.
Stood next to Jared Leto.

I then asked him between songs If he liked muse, “No” He immediately replied which I thought was funny, “I admire them as a band, but I never listen to their CD’s”

We then continued to watch Muse for a while, then he had to go, so we went back to where we were earlier and said bye, I then asked him one final question that I had wanted to ask for a while, my Mum probably knows what I asked, though I already knew the answer, and I got the exact answer I expected, he pondered the question, then said, “the answer, is.. Too long for a gig”

He then took one more picture of us both using my camera,

http://www.facebook.com/al

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He then grabbed my hand and said, “see you at Wembley!” and walked off.

Anyone who knows me well will realize how tranquil and soul lifting that entire experience was for me. My idol, Jared Leto, chose to walk up to me, and invite me backstage with him.

My life I know has changed since then, it was a huge moment for me and one that I will remember for the rest of my days.

-J

Provehito In Altum

This Is War first impressions

I'm writing this not so much for it to be read by others, but more as something for me to look back on in time and think, "hey, these were my thoughts of the new mars album the day i got it..."

The album in one word, is... revolutionary. It is a complete range of experimental sounds, heartwarming rhythms, and mind bending lyrics. The band have not simply evolved as a band, rather as Jared said, "it's not so much an evolution as a revolution" they have become epic in every way, using not just a guitar, a bass, a drummer and a singer in the music, like so many bands out there, they have become something more than that. Through the use of the Echelon at the summits, recording thousands of people at every major city in the world, then allowing people to send in sound recordings of themselves to be included in the album, and having them assured that they will be used. The result of the use of these summits create a truly epic sound, the band doesn't stop at just that, they also have Tibetan monks chanting and Kanye West singing backing tracks adding a new element to the music, in fact at one point pots and pans can be heard in the background which screams of the adventurousness that Pink Floyd explored.

The album is a triumph, it is a revolutionary album, the music is so emotional and beautiful that it seems to tear your heart in two.

It is absolutely everything I wanted and more,

If you havn't already, just youtube Hurricane (not the kanye version) by 30 Seconds to Mars, close your eyes, and listen, I assure it will take you somewhere new.

Provehito In Altum.

Meeting Billy Talent

Originally written on Wednesday, 23 September 2009 at 12:14

Tonight I saw Billy Talent live, at Hawthorne Theater in Portland Oregon, USA.

I'm not going to bore you with the details of how we cued up for nearly 5 hours in order to be the first in, or how, we were starving the entire time! No, I'm going to tell you about how amazing, how incredible, how utterly jaw dropping Billy Talent were live tonight.

Because we had cued up so early, we were able to go straight to the front, and managed to stay there, front, middle, for the entire gig, I normally just go in at the last minute, guns blazing and power my way to the front but I was taking no risks tonight.

Being so close to the stage, meant that I was practically singing with Ben Kowalewicz, his sweat was dripping onto me for crying out loud, everybody was reaching out to grab him, whilst I was trying to dodge his knee as his frantic dancing almost knocked me out numerous times! It was unbelievable, being so close to one of my idols.

Then, as he and I finished singing the second song, he looked down and ruffled my hair, which put the biggest smile on my face, I'm sure I resembled the Cheshire Cat at that point.

The band then carried on their mind blowing set, thankfully playing Diamond on a Landmine, my favorite song off of their latest album.

After the gig, I was dripping wet, not with sweat, but with water, as every time Ben had a bottle of water he poured on my head and laughed in a playful manor, this also made me smile like hell.

Afterwards, I bought a poster of the new album cover, and went outback to try and meet the band, after getting there and the bouncers informing us that BT's manager had said they weren't coming out, we still proceeded to wait, because if I was able to meet Ben, it would make the night one of the greatest of my life.

After about half an hour, the band came out, one after another, the brilliant thing is that not too many people were around, and so meeting the band felt more like meeting old friends than meeting famous musicians.

I first met the bassist, who seemed very down to earth, I shook his hand and asked him to sign my poster, then I told him how great it was to meet him, and went to get the drummers signature, I did the same with the guitarist.

Then Ben came out. He was wearing a puffy leather jacket with a black t-shirt underneath with white lettering, he was also wearing a white and gray trilby that was apparently a gift.

He was the same size as me, and had a constant smile on his face, which seemed to contribute to an air of tranquility that he possessed. I have never witnessed anything like it.

I first asked him to sign my Poster, then I looked him in the eye and shook his hand, I told him how important this moment was to me, and how important the band has been in my life. I told him I'd come all the way from England, and we had a short conversation, about England, and about Download festival which he said he loved playing. I then told him that my Mother and Brothers will be seeing them live soon in their England tour and also informed him that I would be seeing him again next week at their live show in Texas. Following this I had my picture taken with him, shook his hand again, and left.

I had just met one of my dearest idols, a man that was truly an inspiration to me.

I was so happy.

Then, saddened that meeting him was over, I walked back over and gave him a massive hug, I explained that I knew it was stupid, but I wanted one. So he gave me a hug, and I have a picture of this also.

Then, me and Travis wandered Portland for about an hour trying to find the bus station to get home, after failing we called a friend to come and pick us up.

As we waited to be picked up, we sat on a bench, across the road from the Billy Talent tour bus, no-body was around and me and Travis were chatting about Anti-Flag and how immense they are when Ben walked by across the street, shocked, I shouted "Ben!" and waved, and he waved back, he asked what were were doing and I said we were waiting for a lift home.

He then went into the tour bus, and immediately came back out and began walking towards us, he then gave me and Travis a bottle of water each and a bag of chips (crisps)

We said many thanks, and as he was walking away, I yelled "see you next week!"

and he laughed and said something like "yeah see you then!" I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something like that.

Thus concludes my regaling of tonight's events.

Tonight has been one of the best nights of my life, I was at the best possible place to see a Billy Talent gig, they played an awesome set, and the most wonderful part is, I got to meet and talk to one of my idols, and he was even more incredible than I thought he would be.

-J

Provehito In Altum

Popping the cherry.

So, I'm new to the whole blog thing yada yada, In all honesty I created this blog in order to get my thoughts down when my laptop is close my but my many journals aren't, I have a few things I have written that I will post, these are two incredibly important moments in my life, I wrote them down so that I can read them in years to come and remember every detail, as memory is, lets face it, pretty shite.

So yeah, popped the cherry, starting with a few baby steps, and who knows maybe all my thoughts will begin to spill onto this blog like a tipped inkwell.

-J

Provehito In Altum